Confessions of a Teenaged Drama Queen
by The Unbreakable Snape Fan
Summary: Merton is a little dramatic. He likes Tommy.


Confessions of a Teenaged Drama Queen

"Well, I've called you here today to get something off my chest. Tommy because it concerns him directly, and you, Lori, so that you'll know why we're no longer speaking to each other."

Tommy and Lori shared a look and a shrug, neither knowing what Merton was up to.

Merton paced a bit, then stopped in front of his best friend. "I've been getting out of gym for years. But for a long time this year, you've been making me sweat."

"Eww," Lori said, and Tommy made a face.

"Not the point!" Merton went on, "You've given me bats in the stomach. You've given me that familiar ache in the chest."

"Bats in the...what are you talking about?"

"Tommy, this is my moment!" He exclaimed, and Tommy quieted, reluctantly, petulantly. "Sure you're not a girl, with those sumptuous curves, that soft skin, that—"

"Merton," Lori said sternly.

"Right, right. I've found that, even though you'd never be featured in a low-riding swimsuit in Sorority Carwash III—nor, hopefully would any football player—I've come to like you." He held up a hand preventing further comment from his friends. "I dream about you. I fantasize about you. When you wolf out, it turns me on. I'm a cliché. I'm the geeky best friend who wants the jock. I'm the cheerleader who won't stop staring. Okay, so I only cheered for one game, but, still, not the point.

"You two know I have an obsessive nature. Sometimes way too obsessive. So I'm getting all of this out before I explode from thinking these things and not doing anything about it." Tommy and Lori were looking a little shell-shocked. "You with me? Okay, so, basically? Me gay. Want Tommy." He paused. "You know, I'm actually probably bisexual. I mean, I guess further experimentation would be required. Does that make my point any less clear? Any...easier to swallow?" He only paused a second before he continued to talk.

"I'll pack my bags, I'll sign on the dotted line, I'll keep your secret, blah blah blah-blah blah. I won't sit at your table, I'll stick to the Guild, I'll become the lonely boy I once was. Don't cry for me, you two! I've made my decision. The truth will set me free! Or, into horrible bouts of loneliness and shame. But since when is that new?" he joked.

He clasped his hands in front of him. "Alright. Comments? Anyone?" He paused and quickly whipped out a magnifying glass. "If you have a form drawn up already, I'll look it over. And I'll be reading all the fine print."

"Yeah, I have a comment," Lori finally said. "First, gross, I didn't want to hear about your wolf fantasies, and, second, don't be an idiot. Tommy won't stop being your friend just because you like him!"

"Uh, Lori, why don't you let Tommy speak for himself?"

"Okay, Tommy. Speak for yourself."

"Lori's right," Tommy finally said. "I'm totally cool with it, man. In fact...I kind of...," he squirmed. "Does Lori have to be here?"

"Move it, sister! Who needs ya? We don't! Buh bye!"

Lori scowled, getting right in his face for a second before leaving, asserting her dominance over the little nerd like that.

Tommy rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Well? Spill, jock boy."

"I've kind of been thinking about you a lot lately too. I never meant to, it just...happens. Not just sexual things either. Sometimes I think about how well you know me, you know? How you protect me. Oh man, this is weird..."

"My fantasies definitely have their sweet sides, yes," he agreed.

"Sometimes I imagine, I don't know...what it would be like to take you to The Factory instead of a girl." He looked down at his lap.

"Tommy...are you saying you like me?"

"I'm saying, yeah, maybe I do. I think. I don't know. I'm...not sure I like girls that much. I...I know I'm supposed to, I just...it never feels right. But just an arm around you, and it feels like...what it _should_ feel like when I was with Stacey, or with Lori, or Tori. Or even back with Jenny, when we dated last year."

"You...you feel like...Stacey? I'm...The arm around me...it's just...Oh, come here!" Merton lunged at Tommy, wrapping his arms around him in a death grip.

"Can't...breathe very well, Merton," Tommy wheezed pushing him off.

"Sorry, sorry," he said, grinning at his friend. "I'm not signing anything! There's no reason for me to leave the team!"

"You're way too good at all this monster stuff to go anyway."

"Well, I would have given you two some of my books," he admitted. "They belong with the crime-fighting werewolf."

"Are things going to be weird between us?"

"That depends on your definition of weird, Tommy."

"Okay, well...what _is_ going to happen between us?"

"I...well, what were you thinking would happen? I'm...I'm going to follow your lead. After all, you're the strong, jocky werewolf, with all those muscles. It'd be stupid not to."

"I want to take you to The Factory," Tommy blurted out.

Merton's expression lightened considerably. "Are you sure? What if someone sees us? What if you don't really like me? What if I have really bad dating etiquette, but none of the other girls shared that with me because they didn't want to hurt my feelings? What if we're incompatible and we break up?"

Tommy coaxed Merton over to sit next to him on the side of the bed. He wrapped his arm around Merton. "What if we never did anything about it? That would be ten times worse."

Merton relaxed against Tommy. "You're right. You're so right." He rested his head on Tommy's chest.

"Let's go tell Lori. She's probably pissed at getting kicked out."

"Uh...why don't you go tell her? An angry Lori is not my idea of a good time."

"C'mon tough guy," Tommy said, standing and pulling Merton to his feet. "She'll probably be thrilled."

"Thrilled?" he raised an eyebrow doubtfully. "I'll tell you what she'll probably do. She'll probably ask to watch."

"Ask to watch what?" Tommy's brow crinkled.

Merton cleared his throat. "Oh, nothing."

"You don't mean...?"

"Uh huh."

Tommy blinked. Then he scowled. "Dude, totally not happening. You belong to me now."

Merton "hee"ed.


End file.
